Well, I bet Mitch McConnell wishes he could have kept the Senate health care bill secret until after the vote. First that whole representative democracy thing got in the way, then the CBO came out with a report that basically confirmed everyone’s worst fears about this terrible bill.
Read MorePresidential Pens
President Trump has a cheap showman’s talent for making things look much bigger than they really are. We should count our blessings and be glad he’s not truly efficient and productive when it comes to legislation and actually enacting his policies. Trump loves his Executive Orders— which are really just statements of principles and are basically press releases with extra hype.
Read MoreMake the FBI Great Again
You just can’t make this stuff up, and if you did, people would say you’re full of it. Yes, on the day after firing FBI Director James Comey, President Trump met with Russian foreign minister Sergey Lavrov and Henry Kissinger. Everything’s fine. There’s no constitutional crisis, just ask Sergey Lavrov!
Read MoreTrump Branded Solutions
So it turns out Trump Branded Solutions work not only in the present but in the past, too! If only the supposedly-Trumpian Andrew Jackson had been around to get a better deal, the Civil War would’ve been averted. Since President Trump knows how to fix up the past, just think of all the good work his administration could do across history.
Read MoreThe Best First 100 Days Ever
Here’s hoping we make it through President Trump’s first 100 days quickly, before he tries to ram through any additional executive orders, tax cuts or health care policy. For a guy who doesn’t think the grand measure of First One Hundred Days doesn’t mean anything, he sure looks like he’s a kid cramming to do his homework at the last minute on the bus. (Or in the limo, as the case may be.)
Read MoreArmada of Misinformation
It should come as no surprise that Donald Trump’s misinformation campaign doesn’t stop with North Korea. When Trump said, “we’re sending an armada,” it turns out the aircraft carrier Carl Vinson and it’s strike group were heading in the opposite direction of the Korean Peninsula, a few thousand miles to the south.
Read MoreTomahawks Away!
I’m a little surprised it took President Trump this long to figure out where the Tomahawk launch button was in the Oval Office. These neat little cruise missiles have been the go-to “safe” weapon of choice for U.S. foreign policy for decades now. (And they look so beautiful when they launch from ships!)
Read MoreKushner! The Musical.
Well, the babyfaced, bedimpled Jared Kushner sure has his hands full. From hopping into Iraq to being in charge of negotiating Middle East peace, to making the United States government more “innovative” and like a business, President Trump has put a lot on Kushner’s plate.
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